Nap Time Dream (Abduction by actuaries)

Today I had the day off.
I have been trying to get my creative brain juices flowing and doodling all day.
I have not been able to be as creatively active as I would prefer due to my work schedule.
After lunch I saw that my boyfriend (who was also home for the day) was laying down to nap so I decided to join him. Almost the moment my head hit the pillow I started to dream.

Not one of those just fun kinda trippy dreams.
The not so fun, makes you laugh nervously as you question the validity of reality upon waking dreams.

I was being abducted. I could not move.
But this wasn't the old "alien" one, two.
I wasn't being floated away by little grey men.
This was by guys in red work jumpers (like a Dickies jumper) with black trim.
There was no floating, but the terrible sensation of being totally aware and awake and unable to move. As I was haled away I could not even blink. So the whole dream had a very strange and disconcerting "single take' kind of consistency to it. No fades. No weird murky dream time transitions or cuts. Just a constant stream of data, the inability to move, or so much as speak.

They worked for an insurance company.
Or more what WAS once an insurance company.

But first there was my tooth.
My left rear molar.
It was being drilled into - and I could feel the pressure and the vibration of the drill.
I was told it was because a microphone was being implanted so that I could be monitored.
Now I have had that tooth drilled in my life. Twice actually - it is my only tooth with fillings. While that is a comfort in the way it is a rational explanation now that I am awake - in the dream that knowledge lent an extra gleam of terror; the paranoia that 1) this feels really really real, and 2) that my fillings have been nothing but a cover for a nefarious plot all this time.

Then it just kept getting stranger.

After my dentistry appointment I am sat down in front of another guy in a variation of the red and black suit. Although this time it is less like a Dickies jumper and more like a vintage 1950's "man of the future" sort of soviet inspired suit set (like a chef jacket with brass buttons) It has been a couple of hours now since I woke up - so the details are fading. But basically I am told that 1) I am being tracked, but 2) that I know this, and they are just reminding me, as they do every time they bring me in. My name is Erin - but my last name is different. Something like Baer. They represent a firm of actuaries. Then I "remember"; They once were an insurance company. But some how and some where - they acquired a scientists invention; the ability to travel between, and communicate through alternate dimensions. They were odds players of a galactic scale. And they used people like me not to report what was actually happening in various worlds - but to speculate on what COULD happen in those worlds. Because any realities circumstances will inherently lead to a kind of global group think as far as what IS and what is NOT possible. But every world will inherently generate people that can think outside of boxes and it was those idea's they were tracking. One worlds "what if" is only another worlds "eventually". And for their own gains they used this incomprehensible amount of data to calculate probability.

Then I start to feel like maybe I am not me. Maybe this IS really me. And my waking self if a cover. Am I plant? Am I part of the firm? Or is this brain washing by the actuaries? I see a mirror - I look like me. I am sat down in a chair - and made to play a video game with my thoughts alone. Not for entertainment. But to check cognitive calibration. the idea being that if you can look at the target and think "shoot" and accurately hit the mark - they know they haven't scrambled your brains too bad. I still can't talk or even blink. Movement from place to place if either on a gurney looking at people or lights, and then having two people hoist me by my arms. Things get kind of swirly. I am put in the back of a car seat. I look up through the windows and see trees and stars.
I am being transported. I wonder if they are taking me back home, and why I can see through the roof to more stars. it isn't a convertable. it is all just glass.

Then my boyfriend sqweezed my hand.
I am instantly pulled out of it.
Like an old TV turning off - it all vanished into a circle/ vacuum in the middle of my vision.
And I was awake.
In my bed, arm still over my boyfriends torso just like when I laid down.
An hour and a half had gone by.

Overall it felt like all the creativity I wanted from my brain kind of hit all at once.
It was a very interesting dream experience because the transition from awake consciousness to dream consciousness and back felt like it had no firm transition. I have never experienced a dive into a deep dreaming sleep like that before. That doubled the unnerving feeling throughout the dream and then into waking again. You have that moment of doubt where you question which reality is real. Also was that in the dream (like any dream) everything seems plausible. it was super spooky. And the way the actuary stuff worked was clearer to me right after. even now everything seems cognitively dull around the edges.

WAR GAMES

Call it the work of a hopelessly depressive mind; But I like to think of worst case scenarios. Not the somewhat humorous "zombie apocalypse" kind that most people will half heartedly joke about; But the really plausible disasters that effect all of us at some point in our lives. Death. Disease. Loss. Don't get me wrong - the levels to which I think about these things DO get into the absurdly dramatic. Such as; IF the Chinese hacked and shut down the US power grid? I have been compiling my own William the Conqueror style "doomsday book" of resources in my mind for years in the case of something to that level of fucked. But the more common "war game" (as I like to think of it) that I play in my mind usually has to do with the closer to home human disasters that wait to consume us all at some point. Like the loss of loved ones.

This morning I was fretting over my little brother. My brother and I plus another friend are all flat mates. My brother didn't come home last night. Which isn't totally abnormal for him - he crashes at friend's houses rather often. For a while he joked about touring the country just couch surfing with various people he knew. But as a person who generally worries, and as an avid worst case scenario thinker - My mind can't help but go some place dark. Of course it doesn't help that when HIS alarms went off this morning (which are so loud I can hear them through the walls) the station that he has it turned to was reporting on a traffic crash in the suburb he works in during the early hours of the morning last night (ie - bar time). 3 people dead in a one car auto wreck. I called him and of course my worry only mounts when it goes straight to voice mail. So I sit around a fair chunk of the morning nursing my coffee and a mountain of worry - and I play a war game.

IF it was him - how would things progress? This is the fundamental question I start with. I take comfort in knowing that the most likely way I would be informed would be by police coming to the door (standard issue notifying the next of kin/ checking the victims address on the identification present on the body). And it is damn near 9:30 am - and no cops have been by. Logical deduction states that the probability that it was my brother has gone down dramatically - and so does my anxiety. Then it is thinking about all the horrible other things. Who would have been in the car with him? Which of his friends family's would my family always have bad blood with? I would assume HE was driving (his car carries more people than most his friends). So the burden of who killed who essentially would rest on my family. If you have ever known some one to die in a drunk driving one car accident (as my family has) it doesn't matter how tight of friends the driver was to your dead loved one; that friend is forever more their killer in your mind. Being that we are from a small town, and the likely fellow victims (the friends that would have most likely died too) are ALSO from the same small town - that is a very thick social mire to have to navigate. Especially for my mother who still lives there (along with those other kids parents).

Then you get to contacting YOUR family. The crying. The phone calls. It's hideous to think about - but I make myself do this all of the time with everyone I love. Mostly so it doesn't seem so horrible that I can't handle it when it does some day occur. With my brother there would be the question of how to handle his final remains. He is so young, only 24. Far too young to have ever worried enough to have put his wishes in writing. Cremation? Burial? If Burial where? Here in Madison? Back home? He has so little love for our home town I could never imagine him wanting to be entombed there forever. So cremation it would most likely be. That way our mother and father (who are divorced and live hundreds of miles apart) don't have to bicker about travel in regards to respects. He also could be with ALL of his friends then. Just divvy the ashes up in wee little urns. He could be everywhere. But then there are still questions about a wake. Where to have it? Madison and make all his friends in our home town and in Minneapolis, Milwaukee, and Chicago, (as well as our mother and father) come here? Or do I rent a hearse and just drive him from city to city? He is a musician - he always wanted to go on tour. How much would it cost to get Alkaline Trio (his favorite band) to play a memorial gig? A funerary tour. 3 cities. Would they DO that?

Then there is the after. The depression. The probate handling of all outstanding debts and the diving up of what little my brother owns. Seeing one of my mother's worst fears realized - and being hundreds of miles away and not able to help her. To being locked into a lease with one of his best friends - and know that we have to find a room mate to be able to make rent. My mind goes through ALL of this in detail in about 20 minutes. I call my brother again. He picks up. Obviously groggy. As though this call is finally the call that rousted his slumber. He is at his friends house. Just as I had hoped. My worry evaporates. I take a little bit of comfort in knowing I have a little more of a plan in the case of the worst of possible outcomes. But I am overwhelmingly grateful that I don't have to USE that plan. Some other family has to do that now; And my heart goes out to them.

The Great Migration

IF there were to be a Fright Night sequel

(WARNING: This post if rife with SPOILERS!!!)

I loved Fright Night.
No shock there.
But apparently not nearly as many of YOU out there did as I hoped would. As it has so far only grossed half of what it took to make it.
So IF (and judging by the numbers it is a pretty BIG if) Fright Night gets a sequel my predictions for what it will entail is as follows;

(PLEASE NOTE: I have a history of calling these things VERY accurately. Such as my prediction on the direction of Catwoman in the 3rd batman film. )


This is Ginger.
Ginger will be the Big Bad.
In the new Fright Night remake instead of making sure that Jerry is killed before Dawn to save Charlie Brewsters girlfriend from becoming a creature of the night (like in the original), they use the gimmick of a trick stake blessed by a Saint that reverts all victims back to their humanity. But if you will recall - this doesn't account for every one.

Ginger (who is played by Sandra Vergara and pictured above) is the less than content significant other and stage star to David Tenant's Peter Vincent. She is killed answering the door to Evil Ed. She is Ed's Victim and thus immune to the magic of the blessed stake.

This would work great for a sequel that sought to mimic the second film as much as this one mimicked the first.

In the second Fright Night film that came out in 1988. Charlie Brewster and Peter Vincent become the targets of a vengeful she vamp Regine (then played by the very exotic Julie Carmen who Vergara reminded me of INSTANTLY ). Regine hides her self in plain sight by working as a performance artist and travels with a loyal cadre of equally eccentric monsters. Regine seeks to turn Charlie (for killing her brother Jerry) and to ruin Vincent's life by stealing the one thing he really has - his show.

Ginger is the new Regine.

One aspect of the new film that people I know disliked was that they fail to address certain things like; Where did the dead guards and Ginger go? After Evil Ed and Jerry attack Vincents high rise abode they are left with quite a body count. Later, after Jerry is staked the film ends at the same high rise residence all seems to be well. Better than well - jolly even. No police tape. No inquiry. No signs that any one surviving this incident had to bullshit a cop on how a whole lot of people died and disappeared. Also - they fail to show that no one calls the police when Charlie's house is engulfed by a ball of fire because the block is SO empty due to people moving out and Jerry's killing spree (editing fail?). But the lack of explanation with the dead at Vincents apartment is probably the kind of mindful hole left to set up a sequel. Or you would REALLY hope so (editing fail?). So if they don't show police showing up and things being done with dead bodies - are we to assume that it isn't shown because it didn't happen? Which makes the "victory party" like atmosphere of the final scene a wee bit odd. Cause if my honey bunny had their throat ripped out by a vampire - and their dead body wasn't there when I got back from slaying said undead thing - personally I would be REALLY FREAKED OUT. But there is a running theme in the film of people dealing with shit by not dealing with shit. So maybe the protagonists just collectively put their head in the sand once more at the end. Which - kind of works with the whole "mimicking the original sequel" thing - as that is EXACTLY what the first Charlie Brewster did. Pretend it never happened and go into therapy for years to convince yourself thus.

So if I am right - Ginger is still out there. They establish what her feelings for Vincent are strained in a love/Hate (but mostly hate) kind of way pretty securely with this film. Also - and most importantly; She knows Vincents entire stage act. If she wants revenge on Peter for putting her on a path that lead to her becoming what she is - What better way to get back at him than by stealing his show? Which AGAIN is a parallel to the original. All Peter has is smoke and mirrors. But She is an actual Vampire now with actual supernatural powers. As the female lead of his act & as his partner in real life she literally knows all his tricks, and how to hit him where it hurts. Because the remake takes place in Las Vegas and Ginger is a professional performer working on the strip she is most likely friends with all sorts of strange and talented people who also work the shows at the casinos. So instead of a bug eater, a werewolf, and a VERY 80's styled roller skating vampire - MIGHT we see circ de soleil, Blue man, or Elvis vampires?

I don't know how much Charlie Brewster will play into it all. I don't really see him as the main protagonist. In the original 1988 sequel Regine has the motivation of personal revenge for the loss of a loved one to go after and turn Charlie. In the new remake Ginger flirts with Charlie, and seems to think he is cute - but there is no hint of personal interest beyond shallow flirtation. Also - Charlie (and everyone for that matter) seem pretty happy to move on as if nothing has happened. In the film Brewster even says "I don't want to know these things!". So maybe the plot of the sequel would be Peter Vincent watching his life come apart at the hand of Ginger and then trying to convince Charlie that it was all real and he needs his help - which would be a reverse of the original sequel. This would also be great as it would make David Tenant the proper lead. While I liked the entire cast in this new Fright Night and thought they all were great - it was Tenant that brought the most attention to this film for me and most of my nerdy friends that were enthusiastic for it's release.

But as I started this blog with - all this looks highly unlikely. Just based on the numbers being reported for how much this has made. I just wanted to put this out there in case it DOES happen. Hubris? Yes. But really - is it hubris if I turn out to be right?

THE RANDOM WEIRDNESS PROJECT

I am getting rid of things. I loath online selling. But I love sending packages. And all signs show that garage and yard sales will be fruitless in unloading the bulk of the trinkets.

Send me your address.
( erin.kubinek@gmail.com )
I will send you something random and strange from my menagerie. A comic book. A doll. A cup. A necklace. WHO KNOWS. You won't - until you get it.
I promise to be thoughtful in my choices of who gets what.
But I will send you things.
Who doesn't love getting a package in the mail?

I promise that I won't be using your postal address for nefarious deeds. Like selling data to junk mailers, etc.
All packages will be sent United States Postal Service, in the cheapest (and slowest) way possible.
At no cost to you.

Why I am MORE excited for the new Fright Night remake than any other summer movie.

There are a LOT of nerd heavy films coming out this summer. Captain America, X-men: First Class, Green Lantern, Super 8, another Transformers sequel, The last Harry Potter film, and even a new Pirates of the Caribbean flick. But I am not nearly half as curious and excited for ANY of those movies as I am for the new Fright Night remake.

FIRST OFF LOOK AT THIS:



That is David Tennant of Dr. Who fame done up ala Criss Angel to play the roll of Peter Vincent (vampire slayer?). If this does not have you giggling then you either have never seen Dr. Who , OR you also have never seen the original Fright Night where the role of Peter Vincent was played with tremendous comedic genius by Roddy McDowall . If by chance you ARE a Dr. Who fan, But have NOT seen the original 1985 classic - then either Netflix it OR buy Fright Night and you will quickly understand why this is just stellar casting. On top of that you have other such quality actors like Anton Yelchin , Toni Collette , and Colin Farrell rounding out the cast as well as relative new face Imogen Poots , and nerd character veteran Christopher Mintz-Plasse .

Given the trend of recent years for romantic vampires in cinema, television, and literature I understand initial hesitation and consternation about yet ANOTHER vampire film - let alone a remake of a beloved 80's classic. Other than the cast a big thing that perked my interest was hearing that Marti Noxon was the screen writer (My sister and I were pretty big Buffy the Vampire Slayer fans once upon a time). Then DreamWorks started to release photo's from the production and they just struck something in my brain. The ol' Spider Sense perked up and my curiosity was in full gear. Then I read MTV's interview with Marti Noxon and got a bit more excited. Then this week shocktillyoudrop released a great interview with director Craig Gillespie and star Colin Farrell as well as the first teaser poster and the trailer.

The sum of all of this is that I am STILL excited for it's release. It could suck. Hollywood has uncharted ability to fuck up perfectly good movies. But I am hopeful, and damned curious. Perhaps it is because I have NO idea how this film will go that makes it more interesting than all the big block busters that are coming out. With all the comic book movies I have a general idea of the story. With this one - I can only assume they it will be in any way like the original beyond the basic premise. So it is that element of the unknown that has me much more enthusiastic for this films release then ANY of the comic book based films. Will I be disappointed? Only time and it's release in August will tell.



CHECK OUT THE OFFICIAL WEB SITE NOW UP HERE

Being Productive

This is the cover I did for a friends book "Lost at the Con" which is available for pre order . I didn't originally know it would be the cover - it was more just a test. But dead lines loomed - and busy bees we all are - and thus this is now the cover. I am tremendously proud of it. Happy accidents as it were - as I was experimenting heavily technique wise with it. I think I may just take on what I did here as my standard. I have a bad habit of over thinking a project to a point of stagnation. With this I avoided sketching out in pencil and THEN inking and instead went straight for a pen nib and ink well. Water color is also something I don't have a LOT of experience with. But I like the chaos factor of something being permanent. Hopefully I will have more to post soon. I have just learned of Blogger's new "pages" option, so when I have a day I can devote to fiddling around with that I hope to make this Blog a great deal MORE. Possibly a portfolio and resume and such attached. But there is a great deal on my plate - so It may be June before I can get to it. In the mean time I have been trying to get more onto my Etsy Store . Right now it is a LOT of old jewelry and hand made jewelry I made myself when I went through a jewelry making phase like 5 years ago. But I am just starting to get some old art world up there, and hope to get more paintings and other original works soon. In the mean time I leave you with THIS painting I did in college. It took me 3 months to paint and while I LOVE it - I could really use the money. So help a nerd out.